The huge benefit to aging is having a retrospective view on life. When we are younger, we spend most of our lives playing the short game placing all our emphasis on quick results and basing our success on materialistic things that society has deemed important. In business strategy, the most successful people in any field play the long game. This requires a lot of patience and perseverance.
I have luckily been around long enough to witness that when it comes to conscious living, it’s the long game that matters especially when things feel bleak. We get caught up in the short game thinking things will never change. Taking a Do Over becomes a reality when we don’t cling onto negative thoughts about ourselves or our children but continue forward with grace. I have witnessed that staying conscious in the long game can smooth out suffering that is part of the hills and valleys in the short game.
For Parents:
The conscious parent uses challenging times as an opportunity to connect with their children regardless of their age. It’s very likely your children will dismiss you in the moment, however, in the long game they will appreciate your unwavering support. It’s easier to build a relationship from this place when they are ready. When we point out shortfalls to our children, all they hear is “I am disappointed in you”. Parents who are caught up in the short game enmesh their identities with their children’s success. I am particularly inspired by friends who struggled with their children when they were younger but are now walking alongside thriving young adults.
Being a conscious parent means that we show up for our children with grace no matter what is going on in their lives. Sometimes we label our children a certain way and that keeps them stuck in that role. The goal is not to place shame and blame but to keep communication open. We all want our children to reach their highest potential, but they need to find their way in their own time. Trust your instinct if you feel a coach or therapist is needed for added support.
Life is unpredictable and there is comfort knowing you did everything possible while parenting your child. The reality is that there is are no guarantees for optimal results. Therefore it is important to be compassionate with yourself and stay on the long path. The good news is that you can always take a do over if your relationship with your child is fractured. Let them know you are working on connecting in a different way and be consistent.
If this sounds unrealistic based on your circumstance, and you would like guidance in taking a do over, I am here to listen and guide you with compassion and in a judgement free space.
To all the dads out there, HAPPY FATHER’S DAY! Enjoy the long path over the mountains and through the valleys because sharing the journey with your child is truly what it is all about.
~Andi
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