I am reflecting on this past week and once again life is getting in the way of my plans.
We were more flexible and accepting during 2020 and 2021 when the COVID pandemic was raging. It became the norm to have weddings cancelled and rescheduled. We all went along with acceptance and resilience. Of course, we were disappointed, but it was not a catastrophe. Now that COVID is less scary, how quickly we forget that life has a plan we can’t always anticipate.
With upcoming travel plans being potentially delayed, I am not succumbing to frustration. Instead, I am envisioning myself floating on my back in the ocean rocking with the tide. The noise is silenced because my ears are under water and the smell of saltwater is surrounding me. As a confident ocean swimmer, I am happy to let the tide drift me for a little while and I go with it. I am healthy and in the grand scheme of life, this is a win! I will get to my destination soon and maybe even when planned. This does not mean I care any less, it’s just the “as-Isness” which I have discussed in a prior blog.
Friends and family often say that I am the most positive person they know because I always look at the bright side of things. I used to think I was lazy because when things felt larger than me, I instinctively released the expectation and I allowed myself to float with the tide. I can think more clearly when I am riding with the tide vs. going against it.
How we frame what happens to us can be a catastrophe or an opportunity. This is not toxic positivity because I believe it’s very important to embrace all our emotions and sit with them for as long as needed. Very often we don’t have a choice other than how we show up for ourselves. Emotions leave me quicker when I welcome and process them, therefore for most of us painful emotions seem to last longer. I realize for some readers these emotions are much more prominent, and seeking clinical help is imperative. It’s a gift to honor yourself to get the help you need. It’s our right to feel happy, not a privilege. This is something I discuss in the initial Do Overs session.
For Parents: What could be a better gift than helping your children process disappointment from an early age? This will save them years of suffering in the future. They do read us and if we are unable to control our sadness, they feel worse. When my children were younger, I was more disappointed than them when something like a school outing was cancelled due to inclement weather. If your child is sad, honor them to sit alone and be sad if that is what is needed. They will be more receptive to suggestions or coming up with their own alternative plans once they have processed their disappointment. I am happy to work with you to develop a unique Do Over toolbox for your children based on their individual passions.
I am excited for this upcoming year to dive into Parent Do Overs 100%. This would not have happened if everything at work had gone according to my projected plan. I have done enough reading to know that failure and disappointment are steppingstones to success. I must give my dad credit for this one, he said “Your goal is to be rejected by well-known people after the masses have rejected you.” I found that hilarious and weirdly comforting. Parent Do Overs aligns me to my core truth, and I am not nervous.
If you find you are anchored to a spot where you are not happy, I can help you with a Do Over and enable you to float with the tide so that other opportunities will present themselves.
~Andi
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